I think Dr. Phil is credited with saying, “you…teach people to treat you with dignity and respect…you shape others’ behavior when you teach them what they can get away with and what they cannot.” (source) I don’t agree with that – the Bible teaches a much different approach to behavior. But that’s not the point of my post today.
I think it is true that we teach people how to treat our husbands.
If you speak kind, loving words of admiration about your husband – your friends and coworkers will assume that he is a good man who deserves respect.
If you refer to your husband as an irresponsible, forgetful, selfish idiot – your friends and coworkers will assume that he should be treated as such.
I’m speaking from experience on both sides of the spectrum. Most recently, I was introduced to a couple where the wife literally spit out disgust and disapproval toward her husband. I found myself behaving in the same way toward him, assuming he didn’t know what he was talking about. Why shouldn’t I believe the person that lives with the man?
Please don’t think I’m advocating that we live in a deluded world of fairy tales. I’m not saying you should lie or make up things so that your husband sounds like the perfect man from a Hallmark movie. I am encouraging us to consider what we say about our husbands in public. Choose words that build up your husband in the opinion of those around you – not words that will tear him down in their minds.
If this concept sounds like an impossible task – if there’s nothing you respect about your husband – I suggest you read this post, “Who me? Respect him?”
Let’s practice. Tell me something you admire or respect about your husband! I’ll start: I respect Paul’s tireless work ethic. No job is beneath him, and he never leaves until the job is done. Ok…it’s your turn!
Come Home For Comfort 
I love this post! Strong foundations are necessary for a successful marriage. Thanks for spreading such a positive sentiment. I myself adore my husband for his never-ending patience.
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Thanks for sharing, Katherine!
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This is so sweet and so true. It always amazed me how people will say such horrible things about their spouses. I have always tried to build my husband up in the eyes of others, not embellishments, but just sharing his strengths and keep any frustrations to myself. Your friends never forget those stories.
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Good point, Whitney. They probably remember the bad just as well as they remember the good!
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I love this post Whitney! It reminds me of Proverbs 31 where the wife does her husband good and not evil. I’m thankful for my husband continually striving to live with me in an understanding way…For always trying to understand where I’m coming from, even if it doesn’t make sense to him at first. I’m blessed with a wonderful husband and it sounds like you are too! 🙂
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Thanks, Chelsea! I love that verse and think of it often. It applies to so many situations! Thanks for sharing.
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As an older wife, i do find it disheartening when I hear a young wife speak disparagingly of her husband. And you are right Whitney, in our culture today it is “in” to say whatever comes to mind! I am thankful for a husband who has been a loving, loyal and hard working partner to me for 38 years!
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I so agree!!! I wrote about something similar awhile back & I wholeheartedly believe speaking well of our husbands is one of the healthiest things we can do for our marriages. I love my husband for so many reasons & I want others to know all his great, admirable & wonderful qualities. It makes me sad when I hear my friends husband bash; it makes me sad for them, sad for their husbands & sad for their marriage. By the way…as I type this message, my sweet hubby is packing away fall decor as we are beginning to decorate for Christmas. 🙂
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I agree, Lori. It is sad! Thanks for sharing about your hubby!
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Thanks for sharing, Arlene. Congrats on 38 years! 🙂
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This is so true! When we can’t show respect and love for our spouses, then who will do it? I absolutely respect my husband’s consideration and respect for others. He is constantly reminding me through his actions and words that we are to always be considerate of others because you don’t know the battles they may be fighting. Happy Tuesday!
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Thanks for sharing, Kelly!
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I have a husband who loves the Lord with all his heart and considers what would please Him whenever he makes a decision. He is so unselfish and large hearted. He loves people and always puts others first. I could go on, but that’s good for starters! I respect him so very much.
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You do have a pretty great husband. 🙂
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