My husband is a college sports official, and right now he’s at the beginning of a busy season refereeing women’s college lacrosse. Earlier this month I got to travel along with him to one of his games and I documented it so that I could bring you along too!
7:00 AM – I prepped coffee, snacks, and sandwiches to take with us on the road.
8:30 AM – We loaded up the car and headed to Tennessee, stopping to get gas on our way out of town. (Paul likes to mimic the way I adjust my hair before photos. Ha!)
10:45 AM – What is usually a gorgeous trip turned into a cold, gray day of rain. We stopped at a rest area near the Tennessee border and I had to pose with a cardboard cutout of Queen Dolly!
12:00 PM – We arrived in Harrogate, Tennessee at lunch time. As with most cities that house Division II schools, there aren’t loads of restaurant options. We found an Italian restaurant with pretty good options and enjoyed a hot lunch.
1:00 PM – I dropped Paul off at the lacrosse field at Lincoln Memorial University. They have one of the nicest lacrosse centers of all the schools I’ve visited with Paul. Some schools play lacrosse on the football or soccer field, but LMU has a dedicated lacrosse field.
With two hours to go until game time, I headed through the tunnel into nearby Middlesboro, Kentucky. I’ve been to this school often enough over the years to know what’s nearby (not much).
1:45 PM – I found a Starbucks inside the Food City and then browsed a really nice Big Lots. I didn’t buy anything, but it was fun to look around for a while.
2:30 PM – I headed back through the tunnel toward LMU and found a parking spot facing the field. Parents and fans sit out there for hours on the metal bleachers in 45 degree wind and rain, but I’m not interested in doing that. 🙂
2:45 PM – I walked over to the field to say hi to Paul right before the team captains met with the officials. He’s the one on the left.
3:00 PM – The rain let up during the first half of the game, so I took the chance to get a little exercise. There is a nice walking path that goes around the lacrosse field. It’s a lot prettier when it’s not cold and rainy.
Here’s what it looks like on a pretty day – the pictures below are from a spring trip several years ago before they finished building the stands and trail area.
The view was pretty different on this gray day!
3:45 PM – It started raining pretty hard, so I retreated to the car. I always bring my laptop, planner, snacks, and a blanket with me. I was so glad to have a blanket for this trip!
Referee Wife Life can be a little lonely. I have about 4 hours to fill, and there’s never another referee spouse at the game. In 13 years of travelling with Paul I can only remember one other time that a wife came along with her referee husband.
I’ve learned that I have to be prepared and fend for myself during the games. Paul doesn’t check his phone, even during half time. If I need a meal, I leave the campus and find a restaurant. It’s up to me to fill the time that he’s working. Sometimes the officials have to talk through issues following the game, and they may talk for an hour or more.
Referees have locker rooms just like the players, so they’ll usually shower and change before getting back in the car.
5:30 PM – Paul is done! This game was pretty straightforward and they didn’t have too long of a postgame meeting.
I drove the first hour of the trip home so that Paul could eat. I brought a cooler with sandwiches that we ate on the road while traveling home. We were both eager to get home after a long, cold, wet day.
8:17 PM – Another stop for gas.
9:00 PM – Home! Paul unpacked his wet clothes and repacked his suitcase with a clean uniform for his next game the following day.
Referee wife life is all I’ve ever known. Paul and I are together because he’s a sports official. We were acquaintances during college but lost touch after he graduated. We reconnected 6 years later when I happened to attend a college basketball game he was refereeing. Just over a year following that game, we were married!
Two years ago I was featured on a sports podcast where I talked about referee wife life in much more detail. You can listen to that episode here.
Thanks for coming along on my day of referee wife life. I’m very thankful for this season of life that allows me to tag along with Paul. Hopefully we’ll have some warm, sunny trips this spring!
Come Home For Comfort 
What an awesome trip! Reminds me of when I was first married and made trips to Duke with my husband for coaching clinics. Now, my travels are his games that our son is now playing in. It’s a different experience going from just coach’s wife to player’s mom also! The refs in our area have watched my son grow up and he and my husband have a great relationship with them all. We even go to church with one of them. Being a sports spouse is definitely a calling, one I never thought God would call me to, but here I am, praying the way through!
I love that! Coaches have a crazy schedule too. Here’s to surviving sports seasons! ❤
I loved reading this, too. One reason being is since this is such a familiar area with my travels to Kentucky. That loooong tunnel to Middlesboro keeps my eye on the light at the end! (Good life lesson!) I love that you go with Paul and support him in what he enjoys doing. Your preparation and involvement make for great teamwork! Way to go, Whitney!
It is a long tunnel! I’m glad I can go with him a little bit more this season – especially to pretty places like that one. 🙂
I enjoyed reading this blog. Interesting to see how you your time while supporting Paul. You always seem to be very respectful of him, while still sharing his personality.
Thanks, Helen! He’s a good one! 🙂
We don’t have lacrosse teams where we live but my kids have always played soccer and we sure do appreciate our refs! My daughter’s high school coach’s number one rule was “show respect to the refs!” It’s neat to see the perspective of a referee’s wife in this post. Thanks for supporting!
I guess lacrosse hasn’t made it that far south yet! It only arrived in the Carolinas about 7 years ago. I love that coach’s rule – good for him!
What a fun day trip! I know the weather wasn’t ideal, but you still managed to enjoy yourself. That’s a good life lesson. You were prepared and got to squeeze in some fun while you were away. We have road trips where I know the food won’t be great so I like to plan ahead with food. We’re all happier that way. I’m sure Paul appreciates the company as he travels to and from his games. I’m just hoping one day that an Indiana game will show up on his schedule and we’ll get to meet 🙂
How fun would THAT be? 🙂 We’ve got to make that happen!
I’ve learned the hard way that I need to bring plenty of snacks in case the game or post-game runs longer than expected.
This was a really interesting blog post! Thank you! I think it’s fantastic that you come along for games. That’s some great shared time and memories together. If you don’t mind my asking, is Paul’s main job refereeing, or does he have a flexible other job that allows him to be gone during the day during the week? Or did this happen on a weekend? I’m just curious how it works for refs!
That’s a great question! This is not Paul’s full time job. His main job is flexible to allow him to leave early on weekdays or to be off if he has an early game. Most referees work another full time job – pretty much only the ones who work the Division 1 basketball and football games can do it full time.
That’s great his other job is flexible for the ref schedule!
This was such an interesting blogpost and especially because my daughter is on the track team at LMU! It is a beautiful campus but definitely in the middle of nowhere, lol. There is a cute little coffee shop in Middlesboro called Mountain Mugs that we like to go to when I get to visit. If you go back, maybe you could stop in for a break. It’s good that you get to travel with your husband. I’m sure he enjoys having you with him. Have a good day!
That’s awesome! I hope your daughter is having a great year at LMU! Thanks for the coffee shop tip. I will remember that for the next time we’re up there. 🙂