I will have been blissfully married for three years in December. My husband is the hero of my life for many reasons (agh…I always cry when I write about him!), but one of those reasons is his tireless work ethic. For the past three years, he’s worked a full time job with two part-time jobs. You can imagine, then, that we haven’t shared many weeks of identical work schedules and peaceful evenings at home watching Jeopardy. I have had to learn how to love and support my husband as he does what he feels necessary to support us and advance his career. He’s the kind of man who will gladly do the nastiest tasks and stay until all the work is completed, no matter how long that takes. While I admire that, working 3 hours of overtime each night doesn’t help my now dried-out chicken sitting on the stove! I have a lot to learn, but I want to share a few things that have helped us through the years of 3 jobs!
Tip #1: Make Communication A Priority
Set up a shared calendar that you both can access and edit. We share a Google Calendar associated with our email addresses. It’s helpful for me to see what Paul’s schedule will be, just for the comfort of knowing where he is. I add things like family holidays, birthdays, even church events and send him an invitation. It helps us stay connected when we aren’t able to discuss our plans over a candle light meal. 🙂 This calendar format also helps me to see the “blocks” of time we have together!
Text each other. This is a great way to stay connected when you’re on different sleep cycles. If you only see your spouse when he is sleeping, it’s easy to become disconnected! There was a month about a year ago that I only saw my husband for about 20 minutes at 5AM every day. I am not able to look ravishing at that time (ha!), so I made sure to send him a “selfie” each morning after I got ready. Didn’t want him to have that scary 5AM image of me in his head all day long! Sending pictures of yourself during the day also helps establish trust. Sending little messages, both romantic and practical, keeps you connected during the day.
Get creative. Paul and I were very excited about the season premiere of NCIS, but he ended up having to work that night. I watched it without him (can you blame me??!) but texted him my spoiler-free responses that I would have said out loud if we were watching it together. We “shared the moment” without being physically together.
*I am using “workaholic” in the most positive sense possible. I am extremely grateful that my husband is not lazy. My desire with this series is to help other wives see their hard working husbands in a new light as we all learn to love them with godly love!