Enjoying The Journey · Marriage

I Married A Workaholic: Part Two

This is the second post in a series. To read part one, click here.

Thank you to everyone who commented on my first post on this topic, whether on the blog or on Facebook. It seems that I’m not alone in my need for encouragement while my husband is at work for hours on end! Whether your husband works the night shift, holidays, overtime, multiple jobs or just one job, I hope this series will be helpful!

Tip #2: Check Your Attitude

I have found that most of the time that my husband’s long work hours cause conflict in our marriage, I am at fault. Hate that. I’m probably not the only one who is prone to grumpiness and selfish thinking, so here are some things that help battle those desires.

Ask yourself, “why is my husband working right now?” It might be one of these reasons:

  • Providing so that I can stay home with our children
  • Advancing his career so that he will feel more confident as the leader of our home
  • Helping someone get settled into the following shift at work
  • Picking up extra hours to help us get out of debt

It’s probably not “hanging around at the office because he hates me and wants to make my life miserable.” We may not realize it, but sometimes we just assume our husbands are out to make our lives miserable. Why do we do that? Poor guys, they’re just trying to do some good! I challenge you to ask yourself this question the next time you find yourself getting agitated about your husband’s absence because of work. Speaking from experience, it is an attitude changer.

Use positive language when referring to your husband’s long work hours.

We shouldn’t ever say negative things about our spouses in public anyway, so hopefully this isn’t too challenging! 🙂 I try to not only squelch the negative but promote the positive. So many times I’ve had someone say to me, “Wow, your husband works a lot!” I try to respond with something like, “Yes, and I’m so thankful he’s not lazy,” or, “Yes, he’s a great provider!” People’s attitudes turn from pity on me to admiration of my husband. Works for me!

Communicate love and respect to your hard working husband.

This is always easier when I have the right attitude. Many of us (myself included) work a full time job on top of managing the needs of our households. I can’t even imagine adding children into the mix! My husband sometimes works long 8 or 12 hour shifts for 3 days in a row, and is then home for a day or two. It’s easy to demand help with the chores during his down time, but it is so much more important to respect his need for rest and relaxation after a long period of work. I think feminism has invaded our thinking about home life so much that we have forgotten God’s standard for the home. I work a full time job, but I still have the responsibility to respect my husband as the leader of our home.

What helps keep your attitude in check?

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5 thoughts on “I Married A Workaholic: Part Two

  1. When I get into that “what about me” mind set I remind myself: he is doing this for Me, he loves me and his family and he is working hard for us and I am thankful. & I really try to make his down time at home stress free (a high stress job and stress at home is a terrible mix)

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  2. This is a great post Whitney. I always tell my MOPs girls to resist the urge to be critical of your husband in front of others. I know It is hard but it brings great rewards in that he knows he has your respect.

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