Confessions of a Worrier

Being such a lover of planning and list making, I’m also a lover of being in control. As the weeks and days got closer to our Disney vacation, I kept feeling this weird emotion/panic that didn’t make sense. I was so excited for the upcoming vacation and had enjoyed planning and preparing for our week away. One day it hit again  – a feeling somewhat like sadness, fear and anxiety all together.

I realized what what happening – I was worrying! I had so many plans and hopes for how the week would go, but my mind kept wandering to all the things that could go wrong. What if one of us got really sick and couldn’t enjoy the trip? What if our house was broken into while we were away? What if it rained every day? What if Paul and I fought the whole time?

There’s no way that I’m the only one who has done this. 🙂 Maybe you don’t worry about vacation, but perhaps you’re worrying about something else right now – a family situation that will be difficult during the upcoming holidays, a loved one who you’re afraid is going to relapse into an addiction, a financial need, a project at work that seems too big to handle or anything else that’s out of your control. I’ve been there!

Here’s what I did. Once I realized that I was “worrying myself sick,” I took specific steps to guard against it.

1. I started each day in God’s Word.
2. I listened to music each morning that reaffirmed my trust that God is good and that His plan is perfect. (Here’s my Worship playlist on Amazon music!)
3. I prayed about the things that were worrying me. Instead of asking God to make things go the way I wanted, I asked Him to help me rest in His sovereign plan for our trip.

I woke up sick with the flu four days before we were to leave and wasn’t able to work, pack, clean the house or do much of anything. My heart wanted to panic with the thought of not being well by our travel day – plus all the things I needed to accomplish that week that I couldn’t. It was a struggle, and I definitely got panicky at times, but I made the choice to rest in God’s sovereign plan.

My co-workers were very gracious and understanding of my unexpected sick days right before my week of vacation. The house wasn’t as clean as I wanted when we left home and there were still a few things left unchecked from my to-do list, but we were packed and out the door on time. I was extra thankful to be feeling well each day of our vacation!

The morning we left for vacation, these verses were in my daily Bible reading.

“I know, Lord, that our lives are not our own. We are not able to plan our own course.” (Jeremiah‬ ‭10:23‬)

“Who would not fear you, O King of nations? That title belongs to you alone! Among all the wise people of the earth and in all the kingdoms of the world, there is no one like you.”
‭‭(Jeremiah‬ ‭10:7‬)

If there’s something causing you to feel that sadness/panic/fear that I described, I hope you’ll follow those steps and find peace in God’s perfect plan. Your situation might still be difficult, but you can face it with confidence and a quiet heart. ❤