Does Deceit Have A Place in Your Marriage?

Does Deceit Have a Place in Your Marriage via

Working in retail, I’ve been introduced to an alarming number of women who find no problem with lying to their husbands. I’m asked the following question more frequently than you’d think:

“Can you put half of that on my credit card? I’ll write you a check for the other half. That way my husband won’t know how much I spent today.”

They usually then turn to their friend and begin to complain about how stingy their husbands are, and how they can’t go shopping without him demanding to know how much they spent at the store. Imagine that. I wonder if those wives would mind if their husbands fudged the truth about why they were late coming home or only told half the truth about who joined them for lunch. Yeah.

Before you judge these lying wives, take a minute to examine your own heart. Are you guilty of lying to your husband? Here’s a list of the top ten lies women tell (source) – see if any of these sound like something that has come out of your mouth recently:

  1. Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine
  2. Oh, this isn’t new, I’ve had it for ages
  3. It wasn’t that expensive
  4. It was in the sale
  5. I’m on my way
  6. I don’t know where it is, I haven’t touched it
  7. I didn’t have that much to drink
  8. I’ve got a headache
  9. No, I didn’t throw it away
  10. Sorry, I missed your call

Witnessing these unhappy couples at work has definitely caused me to examine my own relationship. Does deceit have any place in my marriage? Am I tempted to tell my husband half the truth for whatever reason? If I am, why is this a problem?

Here are two reasons I believe that deceit has no place in our marriage relationships:

1. I should treat my husband as I want to be treated (Matthew 7:12). 

I appreciate and expect that he tells me the truth – I should give him the same courtesy in telling the truth no matter the consequences.

2. I am commanded to respect my husband (Ephesians 5:33

Lying is the opposite of respect. Proverbs 26:28 – “A lying tongue hates its victims.” When I lie to my husband, I’m saying “I don’t love you enough to tell you the truth.”

Does deceit have a place in your marriage? You can start today with a clean slate of honesty!

With love,

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11 thoughts on “Does Deceit Have A Place in Your Marriage?

  1. Oh mercy! I am #1 on that list… I say “nothing’s wrong” all the time for a variety of reasons. But you’re right, if I expect my husband to tell me if something is wrong, then I should give the same honesty back. Thank you for the encouragement/kick in the tushie.


  2. GREAT post, Whitney! This is something we all have to be aware of. I’m thankful hubby and I have a very honest relationship, however, I know I have said #1 many times, or that I can’t talk right now, knowing that what I’m feeling isn’t right & that saying what is wrong based on my feelings at that moment, are not truth, but just what I’m feeling. Saying all that was bothering me at that moment wouldn’t be very wise, but going back later & telling what was wrong when I was calm or the situation passed is very helpful. Doing this has caused a lot of arguments to be diffused before they happen.


  3. Being honest with your spouse is key to having a great relationship. I try to be honest about any shopping and we both have discussions about if we really need something. I think I could do a better job of coming out and saying what is bothering me instead of sometimes expecting my hubby to be a mind reader. We work best when we regularly communicate and have open conversations.


  4. Whitney, you are so right. We can feel self righteous,”I would never do that” but when we sit down and think about it, we are often guilty of just the things you mentioned. Thanks for this reminder.


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