On Monday I shared the reasons why I make home life my first priority. It really resonated with many of you – and your comments touched my heart! I grabbed a few of them to serve as part of the introduction to today’s post:
- When we make home life the first priority, we knit the hearts of the people who live in it closer together.
- In the culture we live in, we need havens.
- When our home life is in disarray, then so is everything else.
- It always makes me smile when I make my home life a top priority.
If you agree with those statements but aren’t quite sure how to make home life your first priority, I have a few ideas for you! Just as I said before, I’m not arguing that everyone should live their life the way that I have chosen to live mine. I can only speak to my personal experience and hope that it encourages you in yours!
#1 Be confident of your priorities.
As I mentioned in the previous post, our culture doesn’t really support this idea. You will be pulled in every other direction, and only you can make the choice to put your home life at the top of your priority list. One way to do this is to write down your priorities in a notebook, which causes you to really think through them. Our priorities are the things that matter to us, so what matters to you?
- extended family
- pleasing people (this is a big one that trips us up!)
Not all of these things are bad. Making something your #4 priority doesn’t mean that it’s not important – but you must remember that not every priority can be #1.
#2 Say no.
Because you can’t have everything in the #1 spot, you will have to say no to some things. That looks different for everyone, and I can only speak to my personal experience. I’ve said no to hanging out with friends on weeknights because I had grocery shopping to do. I’ve said no to week-long church commitments (like VBS) because I work during the day and have responsibilities at home in the evenings. I’ve said no to invitations to spend the weekend with my parents because Sunday is the only day I could spend with my very hard-working husband (and they don’t give me any guilt trips about it, bless them!).
You’ve heard the phrase that saying yes to something means saying no to something else. It works the other way around as well – when you say no to something, you’re saying yes to a higher priority. That feels so good! I’ve also found that graciously sharing the reason for saying no can serve to encourage other women who are drowning in busy, chaotic lives of over-commitment to say no as well.
#3 Plan your life with home in mind.
I want to make it clear that you don’t have to be home all the time in order to make it your top priority. Here’s an example: every Saturday morning I get up and immediately throw all the linens, towels and washcloths into the washing machine. I then go about my morning routine. If we are going somewhere for the day, I make sure to transfer the load into the dryer before leaving. That way, even if we are gone all day long, an entire load of laundry is done! When I come home I fold and put everything away. I crossed something off my household to-do list even though I was gone all day.
#4 Surround yourself with good role models.
We all need validation that what we are doing is right and that it is important. Find someone that has made home life their number one priority and learn from them. This could be someone at your church that you ask to mentor you. If you’re not connected with a local church or don’t know someone to ask, look into a Bible Study Fellowship or MOPS group. This could be a YouTube personality who inspires you. For me, that’s Mrs. Erica. She works full time but still makes her home life her first priority. Erica encourages me that you don’t have to be a SAHW to be a good wife who creates a haven for her family!
I’ve mentioned before that one of my role models is the woman of Proverbs 31. None of the other role models you might choose are perfect, but God’s Word is always trustworthy. I listen to one chapter of Proverbs (on the YouVersion Bible app) each morning while I’m getting ready, and I’m always listening for references to wives and women – there is so much to learn from those verses in addition to chapter 31.
You can also choose to be the good role model! I’ve found that so many women really desire to thrive at home, but just don’t know where to start. They might feel like they are the only one and just need encouragement.
I hope this little series has been helpful for you! If I can answer any questions directly, you can always email me and I’ll be happy to chat with you.