I haven’t actually kept track, but if I had to guess I would say that in over 5 years of marriage I’ve eaten supper alone half of the time. My husband’s job doesn’t often require that he travel overnight, but he frequently works until several hours after the normal supper hour has come and gone. I didn’t mind being single – but I wasn’t a fan of eating meals alone. I anticipated being married and enjoying nightly supper meals at a table set with pretty linens and lit candles, laughing and talking until well after the food was gone.
Last night I made supper, carried my plate to the breakfast bar and watched YouTube while I ate. It was a delicious meal, but I ate it alone. Again. My husband came home several hours later and while we did talk and laugh as he ate, I still had to eat my meal alone.
About a year ago I had a revelation. One of my friends posted on social media that she was eating supper alone. Again. I commented and said, “Me too! I’m eating supper alone too!” I had extreme sympathy in my heart for this friend – because I knew exactly how she felt. At the same time, I had a triumphant moment of revelation: I am not the only wife who has a husband working something other than an 8-5 M-F schedule!
Since that moment, I try to make myself aware of other women who live with a husband working a weird schedule. I do this for two reasons:
- I want advice on how they manage it!
- I want to encourage them in their walk.
For example: my hair stylist’s husband is in medical school. He works long hours and his schedule is always changing. Each month when I go in to get my hair cut, I make sure to ask her how things are going with his current rotation. We talk about finding recipes that reheat well and fitting in date night when you’re on different sleep schedules. By the time she’s done with my hair, we both end up encouraged to support our husbands in their careers!
Whatever hard situation you find yourself in today, look around. Ask God to open your eyes to others who are walking that road – and then do what you can to learn from them and encourage them!
If you need encouragement or have advice about this particular situation, I would love to hear from you! Send me an email or contact me here.
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