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This subject is near to my heart and is something I think about often, which makes it perfect for a blog post! At the beginning of this post I want to make it clear that I’m only sharing why I do these things – I’m not arguing that everyone should live their life the way that I have chosen to live mine. It is my hope that in talking about this subject, it will encourage someone who feels like they need to make their home life their first priority but due to whatever reason hasn’t been able to do so. I believe this topic is applicable to all women, whether you are single, married, with or without children.
When I talk about making my home life my first priority, I’m talking about the every day duties of running a house as well as the extra efforts I make to create a haven within the walls of my home. These actions involve and affect the people living in my home, so it includes what we consider “family time.” Home life and family time (with the people living in my home) – that’s my first priority.
The things that home life receives precedence over include: work, church, social events, volunteering, blogging, spending time with friends and even my extended family.
#1 I believe that everything else in my life is dependent on the state of my home.
Home is where everything begins. It’s where my day starts and it’s where my day ends. Everything that we need to be successful during the day can be found at home: a good night’s sleep, clean clothes, good food, reminders that God loves me and is in control, and reminders that my family loves me. When my home provides all of those things, life goes a lot better.
When there’s chaos, disorganization, confusion and dissension at home, the day isn’t going to be as great. I can’t control what happens to me or my family once we leave home, but I can do my very best to make sure their time at home is pleasant and full of the things they (and I) need.
#2 There is a lot to do at home!
I’ve heard it so many times over the years, in basically the same phrasing. “I had to go back to work, I was going stir-crazy at home!” “She took that job before they had kids so she would have something to do.” “If I didn’t work, I don’t know what I’d do all day long!”
I don’t have a problem with women holding a job. I work in an office outside of my home and always have, except for six months a few years ago following an unexpected layoff. But let me tell you, there is always something to do at home. I think that in the times of crazy busy lifestyles, we’ve majorly lowered our expectations of what a well-run house looks like. My house is not spotless – but I’ve been asked by company more than once if my house looks “this good” all the time. If my house is the standard, we have room for improvement! 🙂
Not only are there endless cleaning and organizing projects to be done at home, there are so many other things we can do to make our homes a haven. Things like seasonal decorating, freshening tired decor, trying new recipes and learning new skills all have a part in making home a wonderful place to be.
#3 It enables me to be a better wife.
Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” In our culture of feminism and empowering women, I believe we’ve lost sight of what God intends for women. God is certainly not against strong women who get stuff done – just read the Old Testament. There are some really incredible women who saved lives and did amazing things.
God says it’s wise to build my house. He’s called me to be a wife, and my responsibility to my husband comes before all the other responsibilities in my life. That’s why I choose to spend my free time at home, doing household chores and seasonal decorating, cleaning toilets and making pie. I love my parents, but spending every weekend at their house won’t make me a better wife. I love my friends, but spending more time hanging out with the girls than I spend hanging out with my husband won’t make me a better wife. Refusing to set boundaries at the office, causing me to spend evening hours doing office projects won’t make me a better wife. I love church ministry, but spending so much time at church functions that the laundry piles up and my family has to fend for themselves with meals – that won’t make me a better wife.
I know these are foreign concepts in today’s culture. I’m sure there are some of you who won’t agree with me, and that’s okay. I still like you. 🙂 However, it may be that what I shared from my own personal beliefs and choices has struck a chord in your heart. No matter your situation – from a single mom who works overtime to a retired empty-nester with loads of free time – you can make home life your first priority.
On Wednesday I’m sharing part two of this post, How to Make Home Life Your First Priority. I hope you’ll come back for the conclusion!
Come Home For Comfort 
My husband was injured 2 year ago, we have lived on his disability and my part time job since. It is getting harder to make ends meet. I am probably going to have to go back to a full time job. Is that putting home life on the back burner and not top priority?
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Hi Yann – Not at all! As you read in this post, I work outside our home as well. However, it is possible to keep your home life as your number one priority even while working full time outside of your home. I hope you’ll find encouragement as you do so here on my blog, starting with the follow up post to this one: https://comehomeforcomfort.com/2016/10/19/how-to-make-home-life-your-first-priority/
Thanks for your question! Transitioning back to work/moving into a new schedule is always a challenge a first. This post might be helpful for you as well: https://comehomeforcomfort.com/2021/06/14/how-to-create-a-summer-routine-2/
Hugs!
Whitney
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I’m so glad for this article! Thank you for writing it. I’m also very passionate about prioritizing my home. I do not work at all. I became captivated by the list in 1 Timothy 5:10 after my husband taught me the passage so I spend my other time not building my household to do those things. It is truly the best part of my life. Insane testimonies from having time for people and their “urgent needs” keep me going during sad times.
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Thanks for your comment, Raven! I’m always happy to connect with women who love homemaking too!
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Really enjoyed this post about making homelife a priority. I am older than you, 46. I married later in life 5 years ago. This post was a refresher reminding me that although I do work outside my home that it is ok to make my marriage and keeping of my home a priority over anything other good opportunities to serve. Thank you so much. Even in church we women are nit always encouraged to make our home our first priority.
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Thank you for your comment, Rhonda! I agree that this is a message you don’t usually hear in church…and a choice that isn’t always applauded by your church family, either! I will be the cheerleader for prioritizing your home, so if you need encouragement – come talk to me! 🙂
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Love this post. I love being at home especially when everything is in order. Like they say “There is no place like home.” It is a place where my family feels loved.
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I agree – there’s no place like it!
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I agree with everything you said, Whitney. Thank you for the continued encouragement. I missed this post when you published it but am glad that it found me. 🙂
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I’m glad you discovered it! Thank you, Sheena!
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Great post! I really feel that many people take on so many responsibilities everywhere that the family and home suffer from lack of time/energy. If the home isn’t put together, how can a person be? I know I feel so “off” when the house is a mess, laundry isn’t done, etc. etc.
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You’re right – we can’t do everything well!
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This is a great post. When I don’t make my home my focus, I feel overwhelmed and “off”. It is important to have a safe place to find your centre. It definitely isn’t always supported by other people, which makes it hard sometimes. :(. Thanks for sharing this post.
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Isn’t it interesting how quickly things fall apart when our priorities are out of line? Thanks for sharing that, Ashley!
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HALLELUJAH!! Nailed it.
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It’s always good to hear from the Amen section. 🙂 Thanks, Lynette!
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I love this! I want my home to be our happy place. A place we are all comfortable, happy and feel loved. We all enjoy being home together and I try hard to do the things you mention – organize, clean, plan and decorate for things to feel homey. I know that our days run smoother when we have a happy start to the day at home and know that we have an oasis of sorts to return to. Thanks for the validation, the reminder that working at home is really important and for the encouragement. I heard a quote once that said, “The most important work you will every do will be within the walls of your home.” By Harold Lee and it always makes me smile when I make my home life a top priority.
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You’re exactly right – working at home is so important and is really necessary! So many women look for that validation outside of their home and that makes me kind of sad. I agree, nothing makes me happier than making home life #1!
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I love this post so much! I completely agree with you! Thanks for giving me some much needed inspiration today. I feel like I have neglected my home a lot here lately.
Della
http://www.delladevoted.com
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I’m so glad it spoke to you, Della. We all need encouragement from time to time, especially when things get crazy!
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Whitney,
This is an excellent, excellent post. I wish someone had told me these things 40 years ago! I’m still learning them. I’m an empty nester but one without loads of free time, even though I don’t work outside the home. Thank you so much for sharing this. Looking forward to part 2!
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I think that it’s important to let other women know – you don’t have to be home all the time to be a good home maker. You just have to work with what time you have and use it well. Thanks for sharing that with me! ❤
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I love home! I actually miss it when we are gone. We don’t have a showplace perfect life and actually lease with frequent work moves, so the house right now isn’t actually ours, but it is home. I have been blessed to be home full time and love it! I do need to get order to myself and our surroundings as it’s say to relax the day away. Love your thoughts today!
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Thank you for sharing that with me, Diana! I imagine that your family is very grateful for your desire to make each place you live into a place you can call home. That is wonderful!
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Our home is a reflection of us as a family along with myself as a homemaker and I have high standards. My house is always in order and “company ready”. This isn’t for anyone else but me. This is something that I need to feel balanced. When our home life is in disarray then so is everything else. I agree with every single point you shared here.
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Good for you, Stephanie!! You’re exactly right!
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I love this!!! I can’t wait for part 2!
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I’m so glad, thanks friend! ❤
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How do you avoid getting stuck on social media or watching Netflix instead of getting things done? I have high aspirations, but I get easily distracted.
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That’s a great question, Mandy! I definitely love YouTube, Netflix and Instagram so it’s a struggle for me too. I think I’m going to write a post about this soon, so hopefully that will be helpful for you. ❤
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When the children are grown and gone, it becomes easy for the home to take a back burner to the “other priorities.” Thank you for the reminder – it was convicting and well put!
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Thank you for sharing that, Robin! I am so glad it spoke to you! ❤
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Thank you for posting this – this is exactly the reminder I needed right now! I couldn’t agree more with your sentiments above & think this is the perfect time of year for so many of us for this reminder- things are about to get hectic with holiday planning & such so it’s a good time to focus in on home life. Thank you again – lovely post!
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Thank you for sharing that with me! I’m so happy it spoke to you – we all need encouragement to keep doing what we know is right from time to time. ❤
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Oh Whitney this was such a good post. I can 100% get behind this one. So many of my thoughts are echoed in your words. I need to be better about making sure the blog is less of a distraction. That is the trickiest one for me.
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It can be hard to separate the two, when we’re blogging about our lives at home. The struggle truly is real. ❤ Thanks for sharing that, friend – I'm so glad it spoke to you!
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You are right…these concepts are not embraced by many any more but they are pearls of wisdom. One of the reasons I mentor in MOPs is to help young women see the importance of home and the value there is in keeping their homes a haven for their families. In the culture we live in, we need Havens.
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My generation needs more women like you, Arlene! I love how passionate you are about mentoring your MOPS groups. ❤
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I totally love this post, Whitney!
When we make home life the first priority we knit the hearts of the people who live in it closer together.
For me, making home my first priority also means I’m not filling my days with activities that take me away from the place where I most read God’s word and pray (for several months I’ve been having my usual Bible time in the morning, but I’ve also going back to it all throughout the day for a few minutes here and there). This helps my home life tremendously.
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Wow Amy, I love that statement you made – “When we make home life the first priority we knit the hearts of the people who live in it closer together.” That is beautiful! I definitely experienced that during my years at home. I also love your point about Bible study – it’s really true!
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