adoption · Enjoying The Journey · Faith

{Big} Life Update: Our Adoption Journey

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Yep, you read that correctly. After 11 years of marriage, Paul and I are in the process of being approved as adoptive parents!

Adoption has always been on our hearts. I was deeply impacted by several precious foster children that I encountered while serving in various ministries in my early 20’s. We went into our marriage knowing that it would be unlikely for us to have biological children and always kept our hearts open to the possibility of adoption.

This summer the Lord made His will abundantly clear and gave us the desire to share our home with a child through adoption. Adoption (as well as foster care) is near and dear to our hearts, as this is the avenue through which the Lord brought my sister’s twin boys into our family!

We’ve seen first hand the blessing that it brought to our extended family. We know there is grief, heartache and difficulty in adoption, but there is also immeasurable love and joy.

This might raise a few questions in your mind – so here is a Q&A that may help:

I thought you didn’t want kids?

We have always been really happy as a family of two! It will be a major adjustment for both of us, but we are excited to invite a child to join our happy (although imperfect) family. Paul is great with kids and has a unique ability to connect with people. I love being an Auntie, which has been a major factor in opening our hearts to adoption.

Adoption day for my nephews!

This post goes live on our 11th anniversary. One of the songs we chose to be sung at our wedding says this, “God chose to make a family of you and me, so we could be a light to the world.” For us, adoption is more about the gospel and how God’s Word has changed our hearts than it is about our desires for our lives.

Paul with our nephews this summer

Are you adopting a baby?

We believe the Lord wants us to bring an older child into our home, so we have applied to adopt a child between 8-14 years old. We are also open to siblings!

Are you using an adoption agency?

We are adopting through our state’s Department of Social Services (DSS), which means we will adopt a child who is currently in the foster care system. DSS looks for the best family for each child who is eligible for adoption and will match us to a child.

Is it expensive to adopt through DSS?

Not necessarily. Most adoptions from foster care only require paying court fees. The costs associated with our type of adoption are mostly related to things we have to purchase for our home inspection (fire extinguisher, specific smoke detectors, first aid kit, etc.) and then the things our child will need when they join our family.

What’s the difference between foster care and adoption?

Foster care is a temporary placement where the ultimate goal is for the child to be reunified with their birth parents. Adoption is permanent – the child will legally become a member of our family. We will adopt a child who is currently in foster care but who doesn’t have the ability to be reunified with their birth parents.

How do children end up in foster care?

Children are in foster care through no fault of their own. Their birth parents were unable and/or unwilling to take the steps necessary to safely reunify with their children, causing their parental rights to be terminated. Sometimes the birth parents surrender their rights voluntarily, realizing that is the best choice for their child.

Do foster children have lots of issues?

Adoption always includes loss, grief and pain. There is an element of risk in adoption – we don’t know the trauma or heartache they have previously endured. It’s important to remember that there’s no guarantee that any child, biological or adopted, will turn out a certain way.

We are not their savior, but we can point them to the Savior. We all need Him. “What better way to share the good news of Christ than that the unwanted are placed in homes where they will hear the gospel?” (Russell Moore, Adopted For Life)

Will you need special training to know how to help your child?

DSS requires many hours of what is called “pre-service training.” We participated in several Zoom trainings where we learned about foster care, trauma, and many other factors that may affect our child. We plan to continue educating ourselves as much as possible once we know more about their specific situation and needs.

All set up for a day of pre-service training

How long does the adoption process take?

Adoption from foster care usually takes 9 months to a year. We began our application process in July 2021 and are praying that we’ll have a child in our home by the spring of 2022.

What’s the next step in your process?

We have completed all the paperwork and all the training, and we passed our first home inspection last week! Now we are waiting for our adoption investigation interviews to be scheduled. It’s a follow up and wait game right now.

How can we help?

Please pray! Pray for the DSS workers who handle our paperwork, for the inspectors who come into our home, for us as we wait and prepare, and for the child or children that God will place in our family. We don’t want to wait until it’s all said and done to give God praise for this. He is worthy to be trusted and He is worthy to be praised!

As I said in the beginning – we are in the process of being approved as adoptive parents. It’s certainly not a done deal. Please pray with us that our hearts will continue to be in tune with God’s will for our family. Our prayer has been that we could adopt “so that your way may be known on earth, your salvation among all nations.” (Psalm 67:2).

“When we adopt, we are a picture of something that is true about our God. We look at the Father and we do what He is doing. And what He is doing is fighting for orphans, making them sons and daughters.

The decision making process regarding adoption has to recognize the goodness of God’s purposes, both over the universe in general and in your life in particular. God is at work writing a big story centered on Christ Jesus. If you’re in Christ, God is at work directing your little story to fit into the plot of His big story. God may be preparing you to be the kind of people who can display Christ to a younger generation.” (Adopted For Life)

Following others like Crystal Paine and Courtney Collingsworth Metz in their adoption and foster care journeys has influenced the way we think about adoption. I want to do the same for you! Feel free to ask questions – I’ll do my best to answer them. I will share updates as things progress!

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66 thoughts on “{Big} Life Update: Our Adoption Journey”

    1. Thanks for asking! Our home study was just approved this month (yay!) so we haven’t heard anything yet. I will be sharing a more detailed adoption update at the beginning of May, so stay tuned. 🙂

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  2. Myself and my partner have just started this process too we are in the very early stages but always hoping to speak to others about the process of your willing (even if we are in different countries!)
    I hope it all goes well for you both! Very exciting times

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  4. Whitney, what wonderful news! I only know you through your blog, but I can clearly see that you and Paul are such good, loving people – any child will be immensely blessed to be a part of your family. Many prayers and best wishes for this journey!

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  5. Congratulations!! It’s so touching to see your open and courageous hearts. I’m so grateful Jesus can work through you and Paul to bless your new child. Best wishes as the process continues!

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  6. I am very excited to see what God has in store for you and Paul! You both will make wonderful parents and the most important thing is that this child will be brought up in a Christain h ome! Sending you love and prayers!

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  8. This is really exciting. Thanks for sharing this news with us. I can’t help but think how blessed this child will be when they become part of your loving, beautiful family. It will be fun to follow you on this new journey. Praying that everything goes smoothly and you have your child at home soon.

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  9. This is great and exciting news! We were foster parents to a toddler a few years back — she ended up with a forever family which was God’s perfect plan for all of us. It was the most challenging and best thing we had done in a while. We also have a biological child with autism — the hardest and most blessed thing in our lives; he’s a great son! Praying for you two as you go forward in God’s plan for your family!! Can’t wait to hear more as things unfold.

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  10. What amazing news! I have been reading your blog for many years. Wishing all the best to your family on your exciting journey of adoption.

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  11. So very very happy for you both! So exciting! What a fortunate child to have you as parents and be part of your family!
    Prayers for you all!

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  13. Whitney, I’m so happy for you and Paul. I’m keeping you in my prayers, and I am excited for you and your family. What a blessing!

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  14. I love this, Whitney! You will both be wonderful parents! We adopted our son when he was 3 and my husband and I were 43 and 40 (7 1/2 years ago). I can’t even begin to name all the blessings that have come from our adoption journey,even with the difficulties. It has taught me so much about my relationship with God. I love to encourage adoptive parents because we’ve had some very hurtful criticism along the way. So if you ever have one of those days, I will be happy to reassure you!

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    1. Alinda, thank you so much! I appreciate so much your heart for encouragement, and I’m sure I will need it. Your family is a sweet testimony to the blessings of adoption. Paul is 41 and I am 37, so I’m happy to hear it can be done! ❤

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  15. Whitney I am so happy for you and Paul ! You will be amazing parents to these precious children. You have the most important quality for an adoptive parent : you love Jesus with all of your heart.

    We have 2 chosen sons. It’s a blessing to see how God has placed with us the children He wanted us to have. Sometimes we felt we weren’t up to the challenges but that is exactly where God desires us to be ; on our knees seeking grace and wisdom from Him. It has been so exciting to see them both accept Jesus as their Saviour and start walking with Him.

    God bless you and Paul. We will pray and wait expectantly for His perfect timing. ❤️🙏

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    1. Thank you so much for your encouragement, and for sharing that about your precious family! What a blessing that your boys have accepted the gospel and are walking with the Lord. We definitely feel that we aren’t up to the challenge, but we are excited to “attempt something so great for God that it is doomed to failure unless God is in it.” He will get all the glory! ❤

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  18. Whitney and Paul, what a wonderful life update! It’s so exciting to think you will be parents very soon. God is so good and I know He is using you for His glory! So happy for your family ❤

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  19. Oh wow! What wonderful news! My husband always says ,” every child deserves to be loved.” We will be praying for you.

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  20. I’m a long time reader here but have never commented. I could not be more happy for you and Paul. In my extended family on my dad’s side, I have 4 adopted family members. Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us! I will be keeping you in my prayers as you and Paul continue on this journey.

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  22. “We don’t want to wait until it’s all said and done to give God praise for this. He is worthy to be trusted and He is worthy to be praised!”
    Amen to this! By faith we praise God for what He’s done and what He’s going to do. I will be praying for your family. Thanks for sharing!

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  23. “We are not their savior, but we can point them to the savior” 💕 I am so encouraged by your heart behind all of this! Prayers for you, Paul, and the rest of your family as you continue this process! Thank you for sharing this news with your community.

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  24. Well, you have me singing and weeping through “He Welcomes the Beggar” (11th Hour).

    *For us, adoption is more about the gospel and how God’s Word has changed our hearts than it is about our desires for our lives.

    *We are not their savior, but we can point them to the Savior. We all need Him. “What better way to share the good news of Christ than that the unwanted are placed in homes where they will hear the gospel?” (Russell Moore, Adopted For Life) and your final Moore quote!!

    “Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him.” Luke‬ ‭10:33‬

    Praising the Lord and getting to watch Him at work from a front row seat!! Love you both so dearly!!

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  25. Such exciting news! We have both a biological daughter and an adopted daughter. I will be praying for all of you and will be looking forward to hearing more!

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  26. Wow! I admire your own faith in God’s plan for your future. Will definitely pray for you guys!

    I do have some questions, if you don’t mind.
    Do you and Paul get to suggest any “criteria” for the selection of your child? For example, choosing a child who likes/isn’t allergic to cats, boy or girl, etc. Or is the placement totally up to the DSS?

    Will you have your new child call you Mom and Dad?

    Are there any parenting requirements you and Paul must follow (for example, sending your child to a certain type of school, etc)?

    Ok sorry, I could ask more but I won’t. I’m so curious and very excited for you! Your child will be so blessed in your loving, clean, and God-fearing home.

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    1. Hi Hannah! Thank you for praying for us! Yes, we filled out over 10 pages of criteria on so many different criteria – the broadest ones that are easy to share is that we will be approved to adopt a boy or a girl between the ages of 7-14. We want to be open to whoever the Lord places in our home. Once the adoption is finalized, there are no guidelines we have to follow – they will be 100% our children. So yes, they will call us Mom and Dad. My parents will be their Pappa and Gigi. My sister will be their aunt, and her boys will be their cousins. They will have all the rights and privileges of a child that was born to us biologically, just as I have all the rights to call God my Father through my adoption into His family. Isn’t that a precious thought? Thanks for your questions! ❤

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      1. Thanks for taking the time to answer. I’m just so happy for you! I’ve been thinking about how safe and cozy your child will feel in your home, and I mean that both in regard to how well maintained and clean your home is as well as how loving you and Paul are. Very exciting! 🙂

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  27. You know how my heart feels about all this! I have been rejoicing and praying for the family that God will give you! Just this morning I read this verse,
    “The Lord preserveth the strangers; he relieveth the fatherless and widow: but the way of the wicked he turneth upside down.”
    Psalm‬ ‭146:9‬ ‭
    Not only am I excited for you and Paul, I am excited for the family that he is preparing. They will be blessed to be in a home that will point them to the only Hope in this life and eternity. I’m excited to be a Gigi to more children!
    Happy anniversary!!💕

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  29. I am so thrilled for your family and covering you in prayer…we adopted 2 sons… one with no “issues” and one with “a lot” of issues…and I will never regret taking that step in faith to be their mama! be sure you guys are getting great support!!

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