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If you’re new to our adoption journey, start here. The basics are that we’re adopting through our state’s Department of Social Services (DSS), which means we will adopt a child who is currently in the foster care system. We have applied to adopt a child or group of siblings between 7-16 years old.
In my last adoption update, I told you we were waiting to hear from a case worker who has chosen us to be considered as adoptive parents for a child or group of siblings.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned in this process is that we have to take initiative. Contrary to what you might think, social workers aren’t lining up at our door with available children. Social workers seem to be well meaning people who are buried in paperwork and emails and hindered by a broken system.
Over the past month we inquired about 11 children or sibling groups through our verified profile on the Adopt US Kids website. When we heard back from their case workers, we sent our home study (the official document that allows us to pursue adoption through DSS) back to them for review.
We’ve heard from some that we were not eligible to be considered for those children, and we’ve heard from some that we are still under consideration for those children. Over the past month we’ve also been contacted by a few case workers who represent children they think might be a good fit in our home.
There’s always paperwork to fill out. Each inquiry on a child comes with a different set of questions to answer or a 10 page form that’s just slightly different from one I filled out for another inquiry.
It’s a good thing I enjoy filling out paperwork! My adoption binder has come in handy many times as I’m able to simply reference the answers I wrote on a previous form.
Each child’s name is precious and almost sacred to us. We keep their names on a list and call those names out in prayer. When the decision is made that we’re not a match for a child, we pray for them again and commit their lives to their Creator who loves them so much.
There are lots of emotions with this process.
It is hard to review a child’s background, to see their desperate need of a stable home, and to realize that we are not the best home to care for that child. We’ve shed lots of tears in the past month.
It is exciting to have the possibility of welcoming one or more of these children into our home!
It is comforting to know that God is already in the future and that He has chosen the children we will call our own.
Which of all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this? The life of every living thing is in his hand, as well as the breath of all humanity. He uncovers mysteries hidden in darkness; he brings light to the deepest gloom. Even if he kills me, I will hope in him. (Job 12:9-10, 22; 13:15)
The Lord helps all who fall; he raises up all who are oppressed. All eyes look to you,
and you give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing. (Psalm 145:14-16)
We are trying to actively wait. Part of that means I check in with all the various case workers we’re waiting on – I try to be short and sweet with my questions so that they aren’t annoyed by my weekly emails.
That also means we’re working to make room for our children in every area of our home. We finished a big project last month by upgrading the tub/shower in the main bathroom!
Last month we participated in a training through Flourishing Families of South Carolina where we learned some basics of TBRI, an “attachment-based, trauma-informed intervention that is designed to meet the complex needs of vulnerable children.”
Adoption update in one sentence: We are excited to be making progress and to have names of real children that could end up in our home!
What can you do?
1 – Pray. People are so kind to ask how things are going and to let us know that they are praying for our adoption. It always touches our hearts when someone asks, even if it’s just a simple question like, “Did you get your kid yet?” 🙂 It’s so precious to know that these children have people praying for them – even children that none of us will ever meet.
2 – Get involved.
There are 400,000 children in foster care in the United States. 117,000 of those children are waiting to be adopted. This graphic really puts it into perspective when you see how many children are in foster care in your own state.
Not everyone is called to foster or called to adopt, but there is always something you can do to support the ones who are. You can show up for the foster and adoptive kids and families in your life. Doing so is a really practical way you can put feet to your pro-life beliefs. ❤
—> Read More: How To Support Foster and Adoptive Families
He remains faithful forever, executing justice for the exploited and giving food to the hungry. The Lord frees prisoners. (Psalm 146:6-7)