Faith · Marriage

My Husband Doesn’t Appreciate Me

Last week I asked you to leave a comment and share a homemaking “win” that you’d enjoyed. I loved reading your comments! It encourages me so much to know that there are many women in all different stages and seasons of life who make their home life a priority.

There was one other thing that stuck out to me from that post – so many of us wish our husbands noticed and/or complimented our homemaking efforts! Several of you commented with similar sentiments, and I feel your pain. Bloggers do not have perfect lives or perfect husbands. While my husband is strong, generous and patient, he is not particularly gracious or complimentary.

Marriage books and blogs give you ideas like greeting your husband at the door with a smile and a kiss or planning date nights with scavenger hunts and candles, yet dates end up with less than stellar reviews – and maybe a few arguments.

Homemaking blogs (including this one!) inspire you to make your home cozy and inviting, yet you can’t get your husband to come home from work on time to save your life.

Those things definitely have their place, but every marriage is different. Every spouse responds differently to those types of gestures. It can be very discouraging to work hard at something without getting the desired response.

The only thing that has guaranteed results is God’s Word. Our efforts don’t always accomplish what we desire, but God’s Word always does! 

“So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55:11

If you’re one of the many who wishes their husband said thank you more often or noticed more of your homemaking efforts, I don’t have the magic answer for you.

Instead, I want to encourage you to shift your focus from your unmet expectations to God’s Word.

Blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.” Luke 1:45 

God has promised that:
He is in control.
He is faithful.
He will provide.
He is always on time.
He will give grace.
He will answer prayer.
He will guide our steps when we trust Him.

How blessed will not only I be, but how blessed will our home be if I believe that there will be a fulfillment of what has been spoken to me from the Lord? I find that there’s a shift in my attitude – from frustration and dissatisfaction to peace and contentment!

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12 thoughts on “My Husband Doesn’t Appreciate Me

  1. Lots of truth here! I try to remind myself of Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord and not for men” anytime I get discouraged or feel like I deserve compliments for my homemaking.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My husband is amazing, but he just doesn’t notice stuff I do around the house. He’s not being ungrateful or rude, it’s just not in his nature.
    The verse that helped me the most with this was Psalm 62:5 – My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.
    I just do my thing and I don’t expect that he’ll notice or say anything. (When he does it’s true joy!) When I took the burden of my unmet expectations off of him & gave it to God, it made our marriage so much sweeter.
    (That’s not to say I’ve got it down perfectly. Sometimes I still struggle with this a lot.)

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    1. I love this, Christina! That is such a great verse to meditate on. It’s so interesting that you experienced a sweeter marriage through surrender. That’s not how we’d expect it to happen, is it? Thanks for sharing from your heart!

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  3. Your thoughtful message is a good one, Whitney, but one important thing was omitted. We, as wives, need to be sure that we are expressing appreciation to our husbands for all the things that they do as well.

    Love your blog…. keep up the good work!

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  4. Urg….for the second time this week God is sending me a message through someone else. 🙂 I have been struggling with this very thing and so frustrated with my husband. Yesterday this verse popped up on my computer “Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that” (Ephesians 5:2) and I was like really God? It’s one of my biggest weaknesses as a wife…and maybe as a person…to give of myself with expectation tied to the end. Thanks for sharing Whitney!

    Liked by 1 person

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