Marriage

Real Talk About Date Night


Every so often I’ll post something on Instagram and use the hashtag #datenight. Today I want to go behind the scenes and break down the idea of date night. I’m asking all the questions and giving you my answers for the why, how and what of date night. Here it is!


How often do we have a date night?

In this season of our lives, we work very hard to schedule a date night each week. On Sunday nights we talk through the upcoming week, ask the important questions and find a night that we can have our date. It gives our marriage value when we plan ahead and prioritize our time together.

If you’re not able to get away that often, that’s ok! You can definitely benefit from monthly dates, too. I love this post from my dear friend Tif, an attorney and mom of two: Don’t Forget About Date Night – Even if You’re Parents!

What do we do on date night?

Most of the time, we just go out for supper. Occasionally Paul will meet me for lunch – either bringing it to my office or meeting me somewhere nearby. We take turns picking the restaurants and enjoy the incredible variety we have here in the Greenville area.

Recently I’ve noticed the value in scheduling special dates every so often – going to the movies, a play, a concert or a basketball game.

Is it always a great time?

No. Sometimes we’re both really worn out and end up just eating our food in silence. There are times that one of us is cranky (we both have those times!) which makes the evening less fun for both of us. Sometimes I can’t think of anything interesting to say and Paul hides behind his phone.

When that happens, I try to remember that I’m the one who sets the tone in our family. There are times that I just realize we need to chill and I don’t stress about our lack of conversation. There are other times that I’ll search “date night questions” on Pinterest and try a few conversation starters. You’ve never been married so long that you can’t benefit from a few “get to know me” or “would you rather” questions!

Most of the time, though, it is such a good time! We talk, laugh, enjoy food, experience new things and make memories.

Date night is chance to say “yes” to your marriage. It’s a chance to choose your spouse over the other things that are calling your name, whether it’s a to-do list or your Netflix queue. Date night is a chance to obey Romans 12:9-10:

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.

Marriage is not a triumph of happiness – it’s hard work, forgiveness and lots of God’s grace. I feel that “date night” fits well in that category of hard work. It takes work and effort to plan, communicate, follow through and sometimes to even find things to talk about. It’s work that is worth doing. ❤

Read More On Marriage:

What is your favorite thing to do for date night? Leave your tips and suggestions for me!

10 thoughts on “Real Talk About Date Night

  1. Yay for Date nights. Some months we get out once a month and other times it’s more like every 6-8 weeks. Babysitters add up quick + dinner out + an activity so we’ve had to get a little creative and do date nights after the kids go to bed. And sometimes that time rolls around and we are too tired to make it happen. We just reschedule and figure we need the rest. You’re right – not all date nights are romantic and perfect, but it’s still worth it to get into the routine of investing in your marriage.

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    1. It’s crazy how much it costs to add babysitters to the expense of date night – especially when you have multiple children. At home date nights are great for your season of life, for sure!! 🙂

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  2. It’s fun to plan a morning date such as grabbing a donut or muffin at a bakery, along with coffee, then hitting up some yard sales.

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