Adoption Update {October 2022}

This post contains affiliate links – I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.  ❤

If you’re new to our adoption journey, start here. The basics are that we’re adopting through our state’s Department of Social Services (DSS), which means we will adopt a child who is currently in the foster care system. We have applied to adopt a child or group of siblings between 7-16 years old.

In July I received an email that, like many others I’d received over the summer, said “Thank you for your interest in [child’s name]. We reviewed your home study and have decided that you are not the best fit for them.”

This email went on to say something different from the others.

It said, “I know these things happen for a reason. While we were reviewing your home study, we thought of another sibling group that might be a good fit for your family. Would you like me to send you their information?”

That was an easy yes! During the summer when we were hearing lots of no’s, we said yes and walked through any door the Lord opened for us. He closed lots of doors, just like the situation I described at the beginning.

We found out a little more about these children over the summer, and in September we had a virtual interview with 11 professionals and volunteers related to their case. They asked us questions about how we planned to parent, our home life, our work and our personalities.

A few days later we were notified that we were chosen as potential adoptive parents for these children! As I mentioned, we received about 15 no’s over the summer, but we felt like this situation would be extra hard to hear a no from. These children, who we hadn’t met, already had a special place in our hearts and in our immediate family’s hearts as well.

Now a month later, although we have photos of the children and a little more information about their lives, we have not met them. We’re working through a LOT of government red tape. Domestic adoptions through foster care are not expensive, but they go through government agencies. If you’ve been to the DMV you can imagine how this goes. 🙂

---

Here’s the adoption update in one sentence: We have been chosen as the potential adoptive parents for a group of siblings and we are so excited to welcome them into our family!

---

I put together a little Q&A of questions you might have at this point in the update.

When will you meet them?

Our paperwork has to go across about 5 people’s desk, and then we’ll have a “pre-meeting-meeting” with many of those same 11 people from our first interview. We’ll talk through the process of meeting the children through the transition of moving them into our home. Once all that is set, we get to meet them!

Their case worker asked us to send a digital photo album that they could use to gently introduce us to the children. I put my church office skills to good use and assembled a newsletter style PDF introducing them to us, our home, and the way we live.

It’s easy to get overwhelmed during a task like this, agonizing over how they will receive photos or details about our lives. I had to remind myself by saying out loud “God is bigger than the pictures and words on this document! God is sovereign over this project!” I can always trust these truths to calm my heart.

Read More: How To Find Comfort When Life Is Uncertain

When will they move into your home?

Right now it looks like we’ll spend gradually more time with them, from a few hours up to weekends. Once everyone feels comfortable (especially the children) with making the move from their foster home to our home, they will be able move in. I’m guessing that’s a couple months away.

How many are there? Are they boys or girls? What are their ages? Where are they from?

I have one answer for all of these questions: we’re choosing to keep a lot of those details private. We can’t take it back once the information is out there, and we want to do everything we can to protect our children’s privacy. Their story is not ours to tell.

I love how Russell Moore compares the waiting process of adoption to the waiting process in pregnancy. God is using this waiting time to prepare our hearts, just as parents prepare a newborn’s nursery. Those parents may not choose to reveal details about their baby (namely the gender) until a specific time, and we are doing the same.

We so appreciate the interest that our friends and family express toward our adoption. You share our excitement and our anticipation, and it means the world to us. Although your questions might be answered with “we aren’t sharing those details,” please know that we truly appreciate your heart behind your questions. ❤

When will you adopt them?

I do not know. Adoption isn’t final until the judge bangs the gavel on adoption day. Until then there will be lots of meetings, paperwork, social worker visits, and at least a 90 day trial period where they live in our home before becoming our legal children.

We are considering it final in our hearts right now. There’s the risk that it won’t work out and that we won’t get to adopt them. Queen Elizabeth famously said “Grief is the price we pay for love.” God extended his love toward me before I knew him, and that knowledge compels us to love these children even in the uncertainty of today.

How can I help?

Please pray that our paperwork and approvals won’t be tied up in government processes. We would love to get through this initial approval so that we can meet them and perhaps even have them in our home sometime in December. If they are not able to move in before the end of the year, that is alright – God is to be trusted – but would you pray with us to that end?

“Such a bountiful heart our God has, that while we are asking for a little peace and joy, he bids us to open our mouth wide and he will fill it. We can set all our needs before the Almighty. God has strength enough to give.” (William Gurnall)

Blessed be the name of God forever, to whom belong wisdom and might; he changes times and seasons…He knows what is in the darkness and the light dwells with him. (Daniel 2:20-22)

Thank you so much for praying with us! I can’t wait to have a new update for you. ❤